Some children and young people experience differences in the way they understand and experience the world. For example, they may communicate differently, experience sensory sensitivities, think in a different way and/or struggle to understand and manage their emotions.
These pages provide some ideas for strategies which may help support a child at both home and school.
It’s important to remember that every child’s needs are different, and it may be trial and error to find the strategies which work for your child. Strategies may need to be put in place consistently across different settings (eg home and school) for a period of time before any difference is seen.
Some children experience differences in the way they communicate and relate to others. For example, they may struggle to understand abstract language, they may interpret things very literally and they may struggle to understand other people. This can make life confusing for them. Try the following.
Interacting with others, initiating conversations at appropriate times, understanding and relating to other people and taking part in every day family, school and social lift can be difficult for autistic people. Find out more about social communication
Change can be difficult for some children to cope with. They may become overwhelmed at sudden changes or feel anxious when their routine is disrupted.
Here are some strategies that may help.
There are eight sensory systems – touch, smell, taste, sight, sound, interoception (internal bodily sensations), vestibular (balance/movement) and proprioception (body awareness/coordination).
Every individual’s sensory profile is different. Some children experience the sensory world in different ways to others. They may be over sensitive or under sensitive to sensory input – but even if they are more sensitive to one sensory system like sound, they may be less sensitive to another like smell.
Our Occupational Therapy team run free online sensory processing workshops, find out more about these and about sensory processing.
Also see our information on eating and healthy lifestyle and from the National Autistic Society.
Self-esteem is how we think and feel about ourselves. Children who struggle with communication, friendships and their emotions are more likely to experience low self-esteem. This may be because they hear more negative messages about themselves or feel there is something wrong with them.
Following this advice can help boost their self-esteem.
Children can’t regulate themselves in the same way as adults – they’re still learning how to manage their emotions. Some children find it particularly hard to identify and understand their emotions.
When difficulties arise, try to discuss these openly and carefully with your child. Offer them choices and flexibility where possible. They may benefit from clear descriptions of emotions, consistent boundaries and consequences, and expected/consistent reactions.
Try and adapt the language you use when they’re stressed. Say their name first. Use ‘I’ language, for example “I can see that you are upset”. Allow them time to process what you say. Repeat the sentence with the same words if necessary. Break down instructions into simple steps.
Anxiety is common in people with autism. And anxiety is an increasingly common problem among children and young people, with approximately 1 in 10 people experiencing it at some point in their lives.
Do try to understand your child’s behaviour. Behaviour is a form of communication. There might be underlying causes for their behaviour. For example, the sensory environment may increase distress and result in challenging behaviour for a child who is sensitive to noise. A child experiencing hidden anxiety may appear to be defiant.
Confrontation is rarely helpful. If it seems like your child is deliberately choosing not to comply, think about the reasons why1. If they are struggling to overcome the situation, a calm approach that offers choices, alternatives and flexibility may be more helpful.
Establish and maintain clear and consistent boundaries for your child. Be clear about what behaviour is acceptable and what is not and help them to understand why.
Families Under Pressure provide evidence-based tips and advice to deal with challenging behaviour from researchers and NHS mental health experts.
Children and young people with conditions such as autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and sensory processing difficulties might also display aggressive behaviour when they feel out of control, over stimulated or anxious, or when they’re finding the sensory environment difficult. Find out how to help with anger and aggressive behaviour
For some children, ordinary demands (like getting ready, going out for the day, and even activities they enjoy) can cause anxiety. This can result in what appears to be defiance, avoidance and challenging behaviour, but stems from the child feeling out of control. It is important to consider that children usually have a lot less control over their lives than we do as adults.
The following strategies may help:
You might find this information on Pathological Demand Avoidance helpful.
Good quality sleep is important for children’s growth and development. Some children find it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep at night. Encouraging good sleep hygiene and establishing a good sleep routine is important.
The Sleep Charity provides advice and support around sleep. They also have a Teen Sleep Hub for teenagers.
Alongside the above, children with sensory processing, communication needs and differences in thinking will require adaptations to the school environment. This can include the following.
It is well recognised that autism can present differently particularly when girls and women mask or camouflage difference or difficulties. This can affect both the likelihood of being referred for an assessment and also potentially the outcome of an assessment if the differences are not well understood.