Bedwetting

Bedwetting is not anyone’s fault and it doesn’t happen because children are being lazy or naughty. Children should never be punished for having a wee accident. And the good news is that it’s treatable. 

Firstly- what is bedwetting?  

Bedwetting is described as any amount of wetting happening at night in a child aged 5 years or older. It is a medical condition.   

What are the causes of bedwetting?  

There are three main reasons why children wet the bed:

• Their bladders don’t stretch enough to hold all the wee they make at night time 
• Children may produce too much wee at night time 
• They don’t wake up when their bladder sends the signal that it’s full  

For some children it can be a combination of all three reasons why they wet the bed.  

How common is it?  

It’s more common than you might think. About half a million children and young people in the UK experience bedwetting. It’s just not something we generally talk about openly. It’s commonly reported from all over the world. It can occur in both girls and boys, but boys seem twice more likely than girls to be affected.  

Bedwetting can be genetic. It has been reported that up to 80% of children who experience bedwetting have a relative in their family that has experienced bedwetting. If both parents had issues with bedwetting, the chances of wetting are 5 times more likely. If one parent has had issues, the chances are 3 times more likely for their child.  

The impact of bedwetting on a child or young person  

• Bedwetting for child or a young person can be a very embarrassing and debilitating experience 
• It can have a significant negative impact on the child’s self esteem, confidence and how they view themselves 
• They may feel socially isolated, opting out of sleepovers, becoming withdrawn and anxious, or have difficulty making friends
• It can cause tension within a household
• Children have ranked bedwetting as the 3rd most stressful event after parental divorces and arguments
• Children may feel that they are the only ones who wet the bed, and that they must keep it a secret

What is the impact for parents and carers?  

As a parent or carer you might have a mixture of emotions towards bedwetting. These may include a loss of confidence in your parenting skills, feeling sad, angry and guilty, and worrying about your child.  

Dealing with bedwetting can be difficult and tiring but as parents and carers it’s important to stay calm and support your child. The practical side can be difficult for parents and carers with the extra washing and changing of sheets and nightwear, which can also be a financial burden.  

Remember it’s a treatable condition. And it’s not yours or your child’s fault that they wet the bed.   

How can you help your child?  

Talk to child: Try to understand their worries. Tell them wetting the bed is not their fault. Tell your child they are not alone, and it is a common condition. Be calm and patient with your child as they will have a mixture of emotions.   

Drinks: Think about your child’s drinking- count up how many drinks they are having a day. Try to get your child to have 6-8 drinks throughout the day. One glass is usually about 200mls. Spread the drinking evenly throughout the day. This helps to train the bladder to hold wee and this helps with getting the bladder to behave at night-time. 

Drinks before bed: Slow down drinking 1hr -1.5 hours before bed. Never deny your child fluids but during this period before bedtime only let them have small amounts or sips. I know this can be hard especially in summer months, but if they have stayed well hydrated throughout the day they shouldn’t be thirsty at bedtime.

Drinks to avoid: Certain drinks can have a diuretic affect (make your child produce more wee) these include tea, coffee, hot chocolate, fizzy drinks, blackcurrant and orange juice. Try to avoid these drinks but if they do have them try having them earlier in the day.  

There are drinking charts available on our support and advice page or from your local clinic that you can use to keep a record of what your child is drinking.  

Rewards: Generally we say to reward good behaviours, like drinking well in the daytime, rather than rewarding dry nights, as this is beyond your child’s control and is very demoralising for them if they don't achieve it. They can feel punished at not getting a reward.     

Poo: Check out your child’s poo- if they are not passing soft poos at least four times a week they may be constipated. The poo in the bowel can press on the bladder causing it to misbehave and let out wee when it shouldn’t - especially at nighttime. If your child is constipated, they may need to see the GP.     

Pull ups: If you child is in pull ups you need to consider removing them. This can be difficult especially for parents but trust me I have seen this work. Ask your child do they want to be in a pull up? If the answer is no - be brave and patient and go without the pull up. This would also be a time to consider a good mattress protection for the bed! Pull ups are such good quality that they absorb the wee and children can’t feel the sensation of being wet. By removing the pull up, children are able to experience the sensation of being wet which can allow them to wake and use the toilet overnight. This may take a number of weeks and both child and parent or carer need to be patient as they may experience more wet beds initially.   

Lifting: Lifting your child out of bed at night is not recommended. It may result in a dry bed but won’t solve the bedwetting. Your child needs to learn to respond to their own body signals overnight.  

Using the toilet: Talk to your child about their bedtime routine. Are they ok with going to the bathroom at night time? Do you need to consider leaving a light on in the landing or in the bathroom? The bathroom can be a scary place for a child at night. Could a potty or a bottle in the bedroom help initially? Before going to bed encourage your child to have a double wee, this means having a wee before brushing their teeth and then again just before getting into bed. It is recommended that boys sit down for their last wee as this ensures full emptying of the bladder.    

If you need more information or advice

The School Nurses run special clinics (Enuresis Clinics) for children and young people with night-time wetting, they provide support and treatment options for children and young people.  For further advice and help on treatment options such as an alarm, please contact your local School Nursing team to support you and your child.  

The ERIC website also provides a world of knowledge, advice and support for families and children.

And there's lots more information on bedwetting on our support and advice pages.

You can also view our film on bedwetting here.