Vicki Livingstone is a Professional Lead Nurse, CAMHS
How to talk to children about distressing current events
There are many frightening and distressing events happening in the world right now, and children deserve to understand what's going on. We can't always prevent them from hearing upsetting news, but we can help them understand their emotions to help protect their mental and emotional wellbeing.
What you might see
Children may react in a different way when they face distressing situations depending on their age and developmental stage.
Some common reactions that you might notice are:
- Reassurance seeking, wanting to be around you
- Nightmares
- Feeling withdrawn
- Physical complaints eg stomach aches, sickness
- Difficulty sleeping
- Reverting to old behaviours
It’s quite common for you to feel unsure what you can do to help your child. But make sure you take some time to understand how you’re feeling before trying to support your child. This will help to create a safe space for your child, so they feel supported.
How to support your child
Below are some tips that can help you support your child when there are distressing situations in the news.
- Open a conversation with your child. Explore what they know, where they got the information from and how they feel. Make sure to bring this up naturally and at an appropriate time: try not to have these conversations before bedtime. When having this conversation with your child, make sure it is age-appropriate and remember it’s okay to not have all the answers – some children may just want a listening ear. It is important to acknowledge their feelings and assure them that it’s normal to feel how they are feeling.
- Spread compassion and not stigma. When talking to your children, avoid labels like “bad people” or “evil”. Remind your children that everyone deserves to be safe at school and in society.
- Focus on what you can control. Although we may not be able to stop certain things from happening, we can still support the community and our families.
- Practice self-care. Practice doing grounding techniques, meditation and breathing techniques when feeling this way. These practices help you keep focused and present in the moment. See links below for some helpful videos showing techniques. After having any heavy conversations do things which make you feel better whether that’s spending time with loved ones, watching a movie, or playing a game. Remember it’s important for you as parents to also take care of your wellbeing and practice self-care.
- Manage media consumption. Constant exposure to distressing news can heighten anxiety. Talk to your child about limiting how much news they consume each day and making sure they choose credible sources. Check that the news they are consuming is age-appropriate. Taking regular breaks from the news and social media can also help reduce anxiety. Encourage them to unfollow or block accounts which are distressing. Activate SafeSearch or parental controls on your child’s device if you feel that would keep them safe.
- And don't forget to take care of yourself. Distressing events can be hard for adults to process too - so make sure you take care of your own wellbeing using some of the techniques above.
If your child’s anxiety feels overwhelming, it’s important to reach out for further support. There are various organisations and services that you can connect with for further support such as Young Minds, Samaritans, Kooth, Muslim Youth Helpline.
If needed, you can consider a referral to CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services).
Helpful information:
- https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/support-for-parents/children-race-racism-racial-bullying/
- https://www.savethechildren.org.uk/blogs/2022/talking-about-distressing-current-events-with-kids-
- https://www.bps.org.uk/news/how-speak-children-about-trauma-and-tragedy-psychologists-offer-expert-advice
- https://www.nclwaitingroom.nhs.uk/coping-strategies-anxious-times
Relaxation technique videos:
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation - Bridge the gAPP (youtube.com)
- Box breathing relaxation technique: how to calm feelings of stress or anxiety (youtube.com)
- The 5-4-3-2-1 Method: A Grounding Exercise to Manage Anxiety (youtube.com)